Do You Have The Right Mentor?

Mentors, like shoes, come in all sizes, shapes, and colors, and finding and choosing the right mentor can be a challenge that takes careful consideration. Sometimes we are tempted to pick those that tell us what we want to hear. They make us feel good about ourselves and the decisions we make, but is that really what will help you grow and achieve? Likewise, an individual that constantly criticizes may be right about their critique, but can destroy your enthusiasm and desire to continue. They may also simply be so angry about their own failures that they are blinded or resentful of your potential success. Sometimes we pick those that are just like us, but that may not give you the benefit of those that experience the world differently from you, who could be giving you options you may not have imagined. We may choose a mentor who is older and wiser, but their experiences may not reflect the world you live in today. A mentor that is your age may be a tempting choice and know what is new and exciting, but they may not have the experience and insight that comes with age, which is what will help you avoid the pitfalls that lie ahead. Choosing a mentor that shows the most enthusiasm for helping you is important, but they could be more interested in seeing how they can profit from you, or simply not have the skills and knowledge that you seek. A mentor that represents the highest level of achievement in your field, with the best contacts, will be impressive on your resume, but they may be so far beyond your current skill level that they are less likely to invest their time with you. Finally, the path taken by the most sought after mentor may not be the path that fits you best.

So, although you can search for a mentor that has all the right qualities, in perfect balance, who is willing to act in that role for you just when you need them, the likelihood of success may not be very high. As an alternative, come to understand the qualities that you need for success and fill your life with many individuals that each bring with them one or more of those qualities. Once found, it is on you to gently, with respect and appreciation, seek their help, listen and consider carefully what fits, and graciously set aside what doesn’t.

Remember, like you, they are not perfect either. And when someone comes around looking for a mentor, try to remember how best to give them your guidance.